Wednesday November 26, 2003

It is  important for men to remember that  as women grow older it  becomes harder for them to maintain the same  quality of housekeeping as they did when they were younger. When  men  notice this they should try not to yell.

Let me relate how I handle the situation.

When I  got laid off from my consulting job and took  early  retirement in March, it became necessary for my  wife, Nancy, to get  a full-time job for extra income and  for the health benefits that we  need. It was shortly after she  started working that I noticed that  she was beginning to  show her age.

I usually get home from fishing or  hunting about the  same time she gets home from work.  Although she knows how hungry I am,  she almost always says that she needs to rest for half an hour before  she  starts supper. I try not to yell. Instead I tell her take her  time and just wake me when she finally gets the supper on the  table.

Whereas before, she washed the dishes as soon as  we  finished eating. Now it is not unusual for them  to sit on the table for  several hours after supper.

I do what I can by reminding her several times each evening , “The dishes aren’t going to clean themselves.” This  seems  to help her get them done before bedtime.

Now that she is older, she seems to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement.  Sometimes she  says “I don’t feel like I can make another  trip down those steps.” I  don’t make an issue of this. As  long as she finishes up the laundry the  next evening, I am willing to overlook it.

Not only that, unless I  need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting or to Wednesday’s or Saturday’s poker  club or to Tuesday’s or  Thursdays bowling, or something like  that, I will tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.

This gives her a little more time to do some of those odd things like shampooing  the dog, vacuuming or dusting. If I have a good  day of fishing, this  allows her to gut and scale the fish at a  more leisurely pace.

Nancy is starting to complain a  little occasionally.  For example she will say, “It is really  difficult to find time to pay  the monthly bills during the  lunch hour.” I continue to offer  encouragement. I say,” Honey,  stretch it out over two or even three days.  That way you won’t need to rush so much.” I also remind her “If you  missed a lunch now and then it wouldn’t hurt you, if you know what I  mean.”

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she  needs  more rest periods. She takes a break when she is only  half finished  mowing the lawn. I try not to embarrass her  when she takes these little rest  breaks. I tell her, “Fix  yourself a nice glass of lemonade and sit  for a while. As long  as you’re making one glass, make one for me as  well and  bring it to the hammock so you can talk to me until I fall asleep.”

I know that I probably look like a saint  in the way I  support Nancy on a daily basis. I’m not saying  that the ability to show  this much consideration is easy. Many  men will find it  difficult. No one know better than I do how  frustrating women can become as  they get older.

Signed, 

Bob