Monday December 30, 2002

~ The Urge ~

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

— Romans 7:14-20 —

     I cannot win against sin. The power is not within me to turn away from sin. Even when I try to do good and keep from sin, I still do it. There is truth in this. I can testify to that. The laws within the Old Testiment show me what sin is. Living my life without Jesus convinced me that I am a slave to sin without Him. I prayed that God would help me turn away from sin, but I would not trust in God to turn me from my sin. I tried to do it with my own strength of will and failed. Yes, I failed. 
     So I came back to God and I asked for forgiveness and then I put my trust in God and not in my own strength. Sexual temptation is always there. I cannot avoid it. It is in the newspaper, walking past me on the street, on the television, and ever-present in my mind. There are mental pictures that I cannot erase.
     But each time I feel myself beginning to fall, I pray for strength. Telling my Lord, my God that I cannot win against sin alone. And then The Urge goes away… I cannot explain it. I can only tell it the way it is. And this is fact doesn’t escape the writer of this chapter of Romans…

== Solution ==

What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God – Through Jesus Christ our Lord.

— Romans 7:24-25 —

Jesus is the one who allows us to talk directly with God. Previously in history, God spoke to his people though the prophets and the priests. But after Jesus came and died for our sins, the barrier between God and his people was broken. Oh yeah, God’s in da house… and if you are ready, He’s waiting for you. You are worthy. No doubt.

-= Weekend in Review =-

It’s not very often that something big happens, but when it does, I can’t keep it to myself… ^_^I went on a mini-retreat. Visited a pal who lives in the KoP area. He’s been going to a new church and he’s been a very changed man since he went there. So, being inquisitive people, we went to go check this place out. (Trinity Church) It was a very very busy weekend. So hopefully I’ll catch all of the interesting details on the first try… ^.^;;
= Saturday =
Went up to my pals place and got ready for a lunch/bible study session. It was beautiful, if you are in the area, I highly recommend. ^.^ Support/Prayer/Fellowship/Food It doesn’t get any better than that… Then the group went and visited a sister’s house to have dinner and a movie. We even cooked. Very open and nice sister. Met her younger sis… haha, the both of them are close and affectionate. Pleasant evening spent watching Miss Congeniality and also for some people… catching up on napping. Went back over to my pal’s place and crashed promptly.
= Sunday =
     Went to church, made it on-time. Sunday school came first. Pastor Tam was there… small world. Very nicely done. Didn’t really touch my heart, but maybe in time it will make more sense… Went into the English Service. Worship was very good. Songs were a nice mix of modern christian music and old-school hymns. The actual sermon… well… the beginning was ok, I guess… too bad I crashed in the middle… I remember vaguely something about sinfulness, evil hearts, Jesus… *fades to darkness & silence* wake up in time for the offering thingie to brush over my head…I was relieved to know that at least I didn’t snore in the middle of Pastor Daniel’s sermon… :-p
     Then had a good time doing afternoon games of ping-pong and basketball… my friend ran circles around me… so yeah, don’t underestimate the short dudes… kicked my butt…but a couple friendly banterings in ping-pong brought my spirits back up. Went back and tried to cook a pot-luck dish (didn’t work out… raw chicken is not yummy…) The potluck dinner was fun.
     Got the wrong set of instructions to get back home and had to swing around from I-95 down 676 and back up I-76 to drive my friend home… feel like a dumb-butt for not asking for the right directions… *sigh* oh well… too late now. Went home and crashed.

People I chilled with this weekend: Paul, “P”, Kim, Kim, Carl, Carl, Ruth, Ruth, Sterling, Sarah (sp?), Yangbo, Dave, “G”, Daniel, Daniel, Bill, “K”, Lisa, Mia (sp?), Chica (sp?), Yuhan (sp?), last, but certainly not least, God. ^_^ so many people…