Big Brother Says (Hello.)

::cracks knuckles::

Alright… here’s what’s been spinning in my head lately. In my personal spiritual battles, I’ve found an interesting line of thought that comes up every time I think of dating/courting/marriage. It may be a bit surprising, but that comes much more often lately. Perhaps it’s the pressure from family and friendly questions for friends, but that’s how it is when you get older. People think of marriage as the “next stage.” Whatever~

I know a pretty good number of people are dating/courting. And the question that always comes up is… are you honoring her in your dating relationship? Is it Christ-centered? Do you pray together? Have you talked with God about this? Where does your faith fit in your romantic life?

I am the youngest in my family, but I have to admit, I have a big brother mentality when it comes to sisters that are good friends. Especially when they don’t have someone in their life that can help… shall we say, “filter” their suitors? I’m sure some people would be offended, but I firmly believe that family is there is help you steer clear of bad romantic relationships. Seriously. Who knows you better than your good friends and family? It helps to have an outsider who is on your side and can give a (possibly) clear picture not (less?) influenced by emotions / personal involvement. Dating should not occur w/o community… that’s recipe for disaster. (Personal experience, I’ll vouch for it.)

Filtering… I’d like to know, what are your intentions? I’d like to hear that you want to protect and love her for the rest of your life. Yes, that even includes protecting her from yourself (because we’re all messed up, right?) When it comes right down to it, Are you willing to lay down your life for this woman? like Christ laid down his life for the church. I want to know that you have her best interests at heart and that you are leading her down the wrong path… you would stop and break off the relationship. Love is not self-seeking. I want to know that I can trust you will be there to provide/protect/care for her emotionally, spiritually, and physically to the best of your ability during both the worst and best of times. I want to know that I won’t get a phone call at 2 AM about how you’ve been a bastard/jerk. Because that will make me want to give you a split lip. (But I can’t… because when I hurt you, it hurts her.)

I want to know that you are a man in every sense of the word, because boys can’t take care of women. Are you ready to bleed? Are you ready to be hurt? Because I want to know how you will react to the worst situations. Are you ready for the long haul? or just along for the ride? Do you know what “Till death” means? When you feel small and you want to hurt someone, what are you going to do? Have you figured out how to sort out disagreements or do you just pretend it’s not there or sweep it under the rug?

While you’re dating my sister, here’s some other thoughts to keep in mind:

1. She is the daughter of the Most High. (Don’t mess around with the King’s daughter.)
2. You’re not her husband yet. (Treat her in such a way that you can look her future husband straight in the eye and shake his hand without guilt.)
3. She’s got friends. ( Her friends want to meet you and get to know you. They want to know she’s in good hands. You think you’re man enough for her, prove it. )
4. Pride / Insecurity / Baggage. ( Lay it down. Give it to God. Pray over it. Don’t smack her with it…)

I was romantically interested in a lady and we were in the stage somewhere between friends and dating. And she said to me, there was another guy who was interested in her. She had made plans to go visit him later on that month. Initially, I was kinda taken aback and a bit of fear of losing her. But I thought it over then I told her to go visit him. (They had been good friends for awhile already and she had promised to visit him.) She asked me why and I told her the following: “I’m not worried about you visiting him. If God has him picked out as your future husband, then I have no chance anyway. If I’m supposed to be with you, God will make a way for that as well. I don’t like the idea of you visiting him, but at the same time, it seems like the right thing for you to do.”

Thoughts on saying NO…(obligation/duty)
A government’s idea of “best interests”?

Currently Listening

Can’t Wait
By Yoo Seung Joun & Yuki Hsu