~ Depression ~
(nothing more than feelings…)
I am deep in a blue abyss. There is no logic, no reason to it. I know what I could do to help alleviate it. Do something physical, get outside, treat yourself to something nice, get social… But somehow, I want or need to ride this one through.
I’m immersed in a deep and intrinsic sadness…. just the idea of calling this “the blues” makes me want to laugh sarcastically… This isn’t just “the blues“… it’s depression, a silent killer. This is what makes people commit suicide. It drives people to the edge and some people just give up. I don’t know where it comes from. All I know is that it is affecting everything I touch.
My brain contains nothing to defend against it. I feel intensely lonely… even while I know my Lord is beside me. Who knows the heart of man? I don’t even know my own that well… Science cannot begin to describe this, because there are not words that can do… I feel the overwhelming need to cry… every little bittersweet thought… every slightly sad story makes my eyes mist. But I can’t… either I cannot, or I will not… I know not which.
My heart is heavy and I wish to find someone to share the burden… but today is a busy day… just like every other day is a busy day. I feel despair and I know that right now… I could strike out at someone with venom… with spite. Does anyone know about this? Not until after I tell someone… Nobody knows, but Jesus. No one. Are you your brother’s keeper?
Jesus to the man @ Bethesda: “Do you want to get well?”
“Sir,” the invalid replied,”I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.
Hello. =). G’night HA. Do I sound like someone? “G’night blu” =). I’m always around.
Wow, a nicely written entry…
To cure depression, you have to not think about it and keep yourself busy. Do something you enjoy doing, like a hobby or pick up one. Sometime you do get overwhelm… but never despair, hope is here ^_^
Hope everythings gets better for you…
i so feel you, man~~
i’ll pray for you too ^_^
and you know what makes me feel better? hugs… sounds ridiculous, but hug someone you love.. it helps! =D
Your words strike true. We are bros in Christ, but there are somethings that I really want to just go through alone. Like depression. Everyone’s got a busy life and you just want to sink into your own…sink farther and farther, even though u know its a road that doesnt lead anywhere good.
Pray. Prayin for you.
hey… it was interesting that i read this post today… because God really revealed something to me today that I think might help you.
i, too, am one of those super-emotional people. i find myself wrapped up in being sad at times… sad for myself, sad for others. and God has shown me two things:
1)being sad for others is NOT a bad thing. being touched by sad stories is NOT a bad thing. they are great things. they show that God is developing compassion in you. He wants you to cry about what He cries about (even if that’s just in your spirit and not in your eyes).
2)if i’m really sad for MYSELF, i need to recognize that i’m focusing on myself. and that’s not good. focus on God, and He will change you… in your own strength, you cannot change yourself. and seek to serve others, to love others.
i’m not saying that you’re doing, or being, anything inherently evil. you are human. but thankfully, God is.. God. and He loves you. and He thinks you’re beautiful. He is on the throne. Remember that. 🙂
in Jesus,
Erin