Friday December 6, 2002

~ Parable of the Four Soils ~

Then he told them many things in parables, saying:  “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop – a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. He was has ears, let him hear.”

— Matthew 13:3-9 —

~ Jesus explains the parable ~

“Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and down not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. The once who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty, or thirty times what was sown.”

— Matthew 13:10-23 —

Actual verse and ha256’s interpretation/thoughts to come later….

— Later —

What kind of soil am I? God, I pray that I am the last… If I am not, change me Lord. Dig up all the BS in my life for fertilizer if it would do some good. I am fearful of being rocky soil… Please Lord let it not be so…

~~– Crushed by an email forward –~~

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She  looked at me, said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. “My date is sick” she said; he’s not going to go well, I didn’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn’t think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone  went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “you’re my best friend, thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say “I do” and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!”. She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love her but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:  I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!  I wish I did too… I thought to my self, and I cried.

This rips a hole deep inside… I remember not saying things I meant to say… too late. The moment is gone and no more chances to say the things I felt, the people I felt for… but at least I no longer do that. ^_^ my crushes know it alright….

Thanks Kelly

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5 Responses to Friday December 6, 2002

  1. ha256 says:

    you’re welcome. glad to see someone else react like me…

  2. kewlpuff says:

    dang, datz one depressing email….  =(  feel better n God bless…

  3. dexy4u57 says:

    hi, thanks for the comment and encouragement, youth group went well, especially it’s the first time i had to teach amongst my peers.  and yes, in God, all things are possible.  🙂  God Bless

  4. Spunkyazn3 says:

    wow i really enjoyed reading that entry. =)

  5. Vegito4 says:

    Wow! lovely story! It touch my soul too. Thanks for sharing it.

    I read many story such as this. I have learn always let the ppl I love know how I feel about them. I hate asking myself the “what if” question, and having to regret it.

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