God, I see today. I didn’t know I was blind, until I could see. Thanks for opening my eyes. My brother is good to me. I’m still broken and I don’t work quite right. I intend to do good and end up doing badly. I’ve wounded someone. And the outlook is grim. This is no flesh wound. It’s a wound that doesn’t bleed, something that will fester and infect, if left untreated. I have to make amends. You told me to love my neighbor as myself, but I cannot do even that. No matter how hard I try, I fail. But you knew that. I’m not very proud of myself today. I thought I was right, I was wrong. I wanted to do right, but I did it wrong. I wanna kick myself sometimes. What good are these 20/20 eyes, that don’t see what really matter? I’m tired of fighting something I can’t see. But you will help me rise again, even though I’ve brought myself low. I have to ask for forgiveness and I have to say the truth with love and care this time. It’s not the truth I have trouble with, but love and care. I wasn’t always this way, but I grew up stoic… and it has still stayed with me. Give me black and white, 0 & 1’s… greys and other numbers confuse me. The right side of my brain is probably the size of a walnut for all intensive purposes… Dad, help me make things right again, because I know I’ve messed it up. Thank you for all the support and patience. Keep me on the straight and narrow path, Lord. I know only You can keep me. I ask these things in the name of The Man, Jesus. Amen.
==EDIT==
The song that’s been running around in my head for over a week now. It’s got a name.
Majesty
by Delirious
Here I am humbled by Your Majesty,
Covered by Your grace so free.
Here I am knowing I’m a sinful man,
Covered by the blood of the Lamb.
Now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since You laid down Your life,
The greatest sacrifice.
Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty handed but alive in Your hands.
Here I am humbled by the love that You give,
Forgiven so that I can forgive.
So here I stand,
Knowing that I am Your desire,
Sanctified by glory and fire.
And now I’ve found the greatest love of all is mine,
Since You laid down Your life,
The greatest sacrife.
Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
Empty handed but alive in your hands.
Singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love,
In the presence of Your Majesty.
Majesty.
We’re singing Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as I am,
And I’m nothing but alive in Your hands.
We’re singing Majesty, Majesty.
Forever I am changed by Your love,
In the beauty of Your Majesty.
Majesty.
== EDIT 2 ==
Oh yeah, dad. Do me a favor. Nail that little butthead who keeps whispering selfish thoughts and stupid little lies to the cross would you? Thanks.
It’s never too late to tell him that you appreciate it.
Don’t know what’s going on, but I hope everything gets straightened out!
Great song…I don’t know the verses well, but I love the chorus!
~Tara
i just wrote that in notepad… didn’t realize it was so long.
we have a house church on weds nights. last night was our first big gathering. we do devotions instead of college-style workbook teaching. i use my xanga as an update place.
’cause i’m not into journalling lately
yeah, right now i relate 2 ur prayer too…keep the Spirit up!
*hugs*… we all mess up, remind me to show you a verse next time we see each other and I get the chance to look it up and that’s “what’s so amazing about grace”