Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
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“Ramble”
My dad once told me that you can tell what kind of person someone is by examining their parents closely. He believes that children will display the qualities of their parents. In other words, bad parents will have bad kids and good parents will have good kids. Simple formula, eh? Personally, my first reaction was to reject what he said without further inspection as “traditional thinking.” But my dad is alot older than me and he’s been through alot more than I have… so I decided to take a closer look into this and see if his words had merit or if they were throwbacks from some cultural traditions that are no longer applicable in this day and age.
So I looked at some of my friends and their parents, and there are some of my observations:
I’ve found that my friends who have divorced & seperated parents were unstable & insecure in their intimate relationships. They hopped from one significant other to another without pause. Almost like being on perpetual rebound. But they were really good friends.
I’ve found that I have friends that I can confide my deepest secrets who are great at keeping them. They have parents that can’t stop talking. Yap, yap… yap. Their parents don’t watch what they say… and how they say it. Their children? Let’s just say I could imagine a diplomat in the future…
I’ve met parents that treat the people around them horribly. Verbal abuse. Broken promises. Self-gratification. But the children? Honest. Upright. Seeking to do good.
In summary, I can’t say that I can accept what my dad said. It seems to assume that good and bad can be determined by just looking at someone’s DNA and environment… It makes no allowances for the transformative power of God. If there is no hope for those with messed up parents, what kind of hope does a sinner like me have?
“Personal Thought”
I looked inside my heart. And I’ve found something that resounds… I found that the way I interact with my family, largely determines how I will interact with my own future family. What I have found is that within this heart of mine, there is condescending tones towards the ladies. I found this first when I kept getting complaints at work that female customer felt like they were “being talked-down to”. Repeatedly. And I found it at home. In the way my dad treats my mom. And I found I do this to my own mother. If what my dad says is true, then there is no hope: I am what I am. But I believe there is something more. I believe that God is not quite done with me yet. In some strange way, I am not yet myself.
Dad, continue your good work in me. I can’t see the changes, but I know this isn’t the way it was supposed to be. I ask this in the name of my hope, Jesus. Amen.
Have you watched the DVD “Hermie”? “I’m not finished with you yet..”..and what a piece of work that turned out to be!
Have you heard that song by Steve Green? He Who Began a Good Work in You… I leave you on that note. Good evening and God bless you.. 🙂
Well said on the observation of your friends’ behaviors unlike their parents.. It may be true that some of our unconscious behaviors may be like our parents and why wouldn’t it be, we lived with them for most of our lives so we would adopt some things that are similiar. Much like if we are with our significant others for a long time, we would adapt some of his/her behaviors. Some even say couples look alike or talk alike from time to time when we make slight similar facial expressions or adopt the other’s person’s much-used phrase. However, that doesnt mean we don’t have the ability to revert back to our own self or even change our unwanted habits. As long as you are conscious of your actions, there is a way to undo what you have learned. What you have learned, you can definitely unlearn. I believe Pavlov said that…
yeah, I hate that about the Asain culture in general… that’s also why I do not forsee myself marrying or even dating an Asain man… but anytime you need a smack down for doing this, bro, you know you can count on me ;)… MUAHAHAHA 🙂
If I’m like my parents, then there’s no hope for me either.
I know God’s there and he’s changing everyone, if they want to change as well. I think that if you strive for change, you’ll be so different than your parents. I know I am. Before Jesus entered my life, I was becoming like my parents. But now that I am a Christian, I wonder if I was adopted. I am not like them at all. I don’t want my future children and generation to end up like my parents. I don’t hate them. I love my parents, but they can go too far sometimes.
They don’t have a relationship with Jesus. They don’t know Him. So I have no right to judge. But it doesn’t mean I won’t learn from their mistakes or what they do.
Anyway, time for a snack……ice cream? That’ll do.
what is it to treat someone as a “brother” or a “sister”?
any, by the way, amazing post. you always make me think