~Down go the shields~
Have you ever watched someone sleep? Their personal defenses go down and their real selves come out. Their faces become serene and all the troubles and problems are forgotten for the moment. Our personal defense mechanisms go down and our subconscious goes to work… dissecting our day… what happened? was there a logic to it? solutions come to us… we think of things we want to do.. our dreams, our goals, our best kept secrets come out to play….
I think this is what God sees… God sees beyond our everyday face. Beyond our actions and to the motives behind them… God sees US. The real US that doesn’t always show to the world. The soft side of a gangster. The pressures of the rich in material things. The tortures of the silent suffering. The love in the harshest of words. The reason, the emotion, the things that prod us through life. The freedom that can be found by a prisoner. The chains which tie down the most powerful. The evil in our hearts and minds. The things left unsaid. God knows. Yet God still loves us. Sometimes, we take that for granted… no… maybe I should rephrase. I take God for granted. I take forgiveness for granted. I take many blessings for granted. such lack of gratitude still persists… will I forever be fighting myself? Will I ever crucify and deny myself? I don’t know. But God will be here… one day at a time.
P.S. I went through and added a whole bunch of people to my xanga list… I read way to quickly… and getting other christian perspectives is kinda interesting. So everytime I read something interesting… I added a person. So if anyone has a xangian log to suggest… suggest away~! For those who have been added randomly to my list… welcome. Feel free to come and stay awhile if you like.