Thursday October 3, 2002

~Post-interview~
I think I did rather well… there were a couple of hitches… for instance, I completely forgot to write down the address. >.< I was a bit on the yappy side (damn caffeine addiction… must have coffee… ) but I got to meet the owner of the company and the manager-to-be, if I get the job. They asked me questions, I asked them questions… All the standard stuff. But I kept getting this little statement to stall me whenever I asked a “stumper” as in a question that you had to think about… “That’s a good question… hmm…” It’s a good feeling to put your interviewers under a little heat for all those poor interviewees being grilled like a BBQ. ^__^ Just gotta remember to write a nice thank you note to my two interviewers…

Introspective…

     What makes you happy? Truly happy? I’m not talking about fun… fun just helps the time pass by, but leaves you nothing when it’s over. All of us want to be happy, but sometimes, I wonder how we pursue it. Will money bring you happiness? money just brings more worries and new problems that arise as old ones fade away. Finding the right person to make you happy. What makes you think the “right” person will give you happiness? I’m not saying that the right person isn’t part of the solution; I’m saying that happiness doesn’t just depend on being with your “soulmate” Even those with boyfriends / girlfriends experience loneliness. Just ask, I’m certain they will tell you so. So I ask again, What makes you happy? What do you really need to be happy? I’d argue that relationships make people happy. Not just romantic relationships, but everything from family to friends. For me, a relationship with God is an important thing. I’m not going to repeat what countless people have already told you about God, all I have to say, is that you should go meet Him yourself. He seems different to each person and my view of God is probably very different from most people’s. So if it’s been awhile since you’ve called your old friend, hung out with your pals or said thanks to someone who’s been there for you through thick and thin, I say that you go ahead and do it. And for those who’ve strayed off the path (you know who you are…) perhaps it’s time for a little heart to heart.

If you think otherwise, I’d love to hear what you think makes people happy. ^.^

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Thursday October 3, 2002

I’ve got an interview comming up later on today… like around noon. Wish me luck. Hope I nail this job, cuz temp work is beginning to wear down on me.

On a side note, I went browsing through xanga and found many ppl from my past and various acquiantances. If I dropped you a note, it’s prolly cuz I either know you, or your post caught my eye. Music speaks especially loud to this soul. To continue my streak of plaguerism, I bring forth The Student’s Prayer.

Student’s Prayer

Now I lay me down to study,
Pray the Lord, I don’t go nutty.
If I fail to learn this junk,
I pray the Lord, I will not flunk.
If I do, don’t shed a tear
Just put a rose behind my ear.
Tell my teacher I did my best
Then pile the books upon my chest.
If I die before I wake,
That’s less one test, I have to take.

                                       – Author, Unknown

God, today was a good day… tiring, but good. Help me to see the blessings that I overlook and chances missed. Each day is 24 hours, no more, no less and each person will use them in one way or another, help me to use them better. Amen.

Inspired by a Dawson’s Creek of all things…

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Wednesday October 2, 2002

wee~ I now have a grand total of 2 comments on my site. *Ahem* Now where was I? ah yes, my topic of today:

Friends and Crushes

     My love life is bleh. I don’t mingle, I don’t bar-hop, and I rarely go clubbing. But you know what? I think I’m still approaching this whole dating / singles scene the right way. I’m not really the type that would walk up to a lady and drop a line and a number. It’s not just fear of rejection… it’s also that I think it’s really stupid for me to say I’m interested in someone because I like how they look. I just do what I normally do: Tennis, hang out online, sip and chat at a cafe. and go to church (when I can get up on-time). If I bump into any nice ladies, I’ll be friendly. If we end up being good friends, I wonder if there is anything more. Recently, I’ve been wondering if this is a bad idea. I get the idea that when a lady becomes friends with you, she is expecting to just be friends (aka “I only think of you as a friend.”) Is this true?

     If it is true, then I’ve been going about this the wrong way. If being friends means you will prolly always be friends, I should stop trying to be a nice guy and just look nice. Who cares about personality when the ladies will look for the “right look” and think about personality later? Work on learning how to hit on chicks without comming off as lame or retarded.

     If it’s not true, then I should keep working on my personality and styling/clothes become secondary. When I find something lacking in one of my relationships, work it out and learn how to avoid it from becoming an issue again.

     Add on top of this, I think that sometimes what ladies say they want isn’t what they really want. “I want someone who’s nice, caring, sensitive, and good looking.” “I’m dating this guy… he’s pretty nice, is dumb sometimes, but he’s really cute looking”

I think that the most simplest equation is what works in most cases: Money + Good Looks + Fashionable = Ladies man (unless you are a complete jackass, in which case ladies just want your money and maybe hang you off their arm…)

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Wednesday October 2, 2002

-=Inspiring Quotes=-

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that I may not so much
Seek to be consoled, as to console
To be understood, as to understand
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned…

– St. Francis of Assisi

I’ve Learned…
     I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. 
     I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back. 
     I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. 
     I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

     I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something. 
     I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do. 
     I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. 
     I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. 
     I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. 
     I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t. 
     I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. 
     I’ve learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. 
     I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. 
     I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. 
     I’ve learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score. 
     I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. 
     I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up. 
     I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. 
     I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. 
     I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them, and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated. 
     I’ve learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it. 
     I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. 
     I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief. 
     I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. 
     I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

– Author Unknown

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating others could destroy overnight;
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.

– Mother Teresa

What is success?


To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
And endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
A healthy child, a garden patch
Or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed
Easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

 When I wake each morning I decide…
This can be a good day or a bad day – my choice.
I can be happy or sad – my choice.
I can complain or I can cope – my choice.
Life can be a chore or a challenge – my choice.
I can take from life or give to life – my choice.
If all things are possible,
How I deal with those possibilities is – my choice.
Steve Shackel

hope that wasn’t overkill… I bumped into an interesting site and plaguerized like a maniac… I wonder if plaguerized is even a word? hmm…

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Tuesday October 1, 2002

“Christian mode”

Why do I find that more non-christians than christians are nice? I know that this is being over-generalized. But it’s true in some cases… Jesus spoke volumes about love and loving your neighbor. He didn’t care who you were and welcomed all who came to him. Isn’t being a christian striving to become more like God? (WWJD?) I’m not disappointed in my christian friends, don’t take it that way at all… just a thought that occurred to me while I was walking to work and I felt the need to share. Being a christian isn’t about going to church, it’s not about simply being nice. It’s about our lifestyle and the choices we make from day to day.

Here’s to all the tax collectors and outcasts. God is better than christians, don’t judge God by the actions of people. Christians are but representatives of God. On a more personal note, I don’t think I’m representing God very well right now… so yes, I’m a hypocrite too… Strive, strive to keep the faith.

This post was inspired by a situation I found myself in, but I’m not going to mention the details.

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Monday September 30, 2002

Visited PSU last week / weekend. It was good. Very relaxing. I got to go to church, which was a very good thing. Sermon was touching and very easy to relate to… which is almost the same thing I guess. It got me thinking about lots of things. Kinda like a breakthrough so to speak. The job fair didn’t really work out as well as I hoped. But I’m gonna go apply for lots of places online and hope for the best. God, you know what’s best, show me which way I should go. (Grad school? Keep looking? Look elsewhere?) It’s so easy to walk on the beaten path sometimes… Gotta be more careful not to go downhill when downhill is leading the wrong way. :-/  I took off from work today cuz I was completely comatose when I woke up…. we didn’t get home till 3 or so in the morning from PSU. It’s been a rather relaxing day at home today… gonna go work on more job applications now. Wish me luck~ *crosses his fingers*

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Monday September 23, 2002

I went up to a friend’s place up in Piscataway NJ. It was really nice to go visit old friends. I really miss having stuff to do. I go to work, I go home… I sit in front of the computer… yeah, that’s my life. Mine and the life of every other office worker out there… :oP Go back and get a Masters? or just keep trying? I dunno anymore… That’s it for monday… Gonna go visit some more pals this week comming up and I’m hoping that I will find a place to crash. or maybe just crash at several places.. I don’t wanna overstay my welcome.. Gonna go out there and try to get myself a real job. Wish me luck~

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Friday September 20, 2002

Got a haircut last wednesday… muhahah… I’m all spikey now… no more long hair… I was getting sick and tired of the wind pushing my hair into my face so… ^_^ But I think I like my long hair style better… I feel strange without bangs… at least that’s what I think they are called.

The Nice Guy Theory:

Nice guys have lots of lady friends. They are generally sensitive, caring, kind… you get the idea. Ladies always seem to say this is the type of person they are looking for. But when you think about it… how many nice guys get dates because they are “nice”? I personally don’t know that many. Most of the guys I know that get girlfriends are personified by the ideal “macho” male stereotype: strong, outgoing, dominant, good looks, dress well, etc… like they walked straight out of a GQ magazine. There are exceptions, but in general, this is what I’ve noticed. So being a nice guy only gets you the following: “But I only think of you as a friend…” If you are out to get a girlfriend or a date, it’s more a matter of how you dress, and the macho-ness of your personality then how “nice” you are.

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Saturday September 14, 2002

A (too quiet) Saturday Night

Calling out to friends
I get a busy signal
as loneliness swallows me

I’m not bored, I’m not crazy, I’m just lonely on a saturday nite, looking for friend to share a quiet night.

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Friday September 13, 2002

Breathe

Looking for fresh air
I go for a stroll outside
to smoke half a cig…

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