I’ve been having a bit of a tough time lately. I’ve taken a re-assessment of my life and well, I don’t see anything that should be troubling me so…. I have a warm place to sleep, daily rice, drinks, love, and all those daily necessities (luxuries I’m used to). I still have that discontent about myself, wanting to grow & mature. Still talking with Dad consistently. Family life is improving… slowly, but surely. GCC is a pretty cool body to be a part of… Yet for some reason, I’m not feeling all that swell.
So I’ve been asking myself & my God… WTF?
It’s like I’m stuck at a red light… and it’s taking forever to turn green. I’m beginning to think the light is broken and I should just assume it’s busted…
I’ve prayed about it. I’ve talked to some people about it. I’ve come up with two possibilities: traitorous heart & the flesh.
My heart is trying it’s damndest to make me unhappy. And it’s doing a pretty good job. But I want more than just a little temporary happiness. I want joy, the stuff that bubbles up through all circumstances. I’m not sure how I can be joyful & unhappy at the same time, but I think this might just be one of those times. God is still good to me… even though my emotions say otherwise. Weird, huh?
The flesh…. ah yes, this enemy doesn’t sleep. Maybe this is an exercise of nailing fleshly desires to the wood again? I have made some resolutions that I’m sure my flesh is most unhappy with. But if that’s the case… I just gotta beat it down and show it, “Who’s ya daddy?“
Sorry for all those looking for something edifying or a nice topical ramble… I was trying to work on that and I just ran out of steam. I don’t want to read my bible. I don’t want to read. I don’t want to make chit-chat. So I’ll continue to wait until God either answers me… or smacks me upside the head… I’m expecting it will probably be the latter, rather than the former.
Until then… WTF?
—————–Online Tidbits————————
Emergency Room reforms needed?
Yet another reason not to get drunk…
Starbucks bomb?!?
Coyotes in Chicago
AIDS in NYC
Momma was right… (clean your room!)
Forget stamps… I can buy animal sacrifices at my ATM…
Technology & Quality of family life..
Custom rides go mainstream
Snowball Rage?!?!
Hey, I didn’t buy a pet spider…
Death… even to the depths of the ocean.
Capitalism as a vehicle for censorship.
The mark of the beast is at hand? 
PERSEVERE!…be back later tonight to comment more =P
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“Unhappiness on earth cultivates a HUNGER for heaven. By gracing us with a deep dissatisfaction, God holds our attention. The only tragedy, then, is to be satisfied prematurely. To settle for earth. To be content in a strange land…
We are not happy here because we are not at home here. We are “like foreigners
and strangers in this world” (1 Peter 2:11)…
And you will NEVER be completely happy on earth simply because you were not made
for earth. Oh you will have your moments of joy. You will catch glimpses of light.
You will know moments or even days of peace. But they simply do not compare with
the happiness that lies ahead.” ~ Max Lucado
full article/sermon on this site…. http://www.horizonsnet.org/sermons/1jn02.html
The problem is in the nature of happiness. Happiness depends on what happens. Happiness is linked to our circumstances. When things are going great, then I am happy. When things take a turn for the worst, then my happiness evaporates. What people really want is a happiness that lasts. People desire a happiness that does depend on happenstance. But, does such a thing exist?
Such a thing does exist. But it is not called happiness. In fact, we find this thing on the pages of the Bible. There we see a better alternative to happiness in what the Bible calls joy. Joy, unlike happiness, does not depend upon my situation in life. Joy is deeper and more abiding than happiness. Joy is something that God gives His children. Joy is a mark of someone who has been truly redeemed.
Listen to how D. L. Moody describes this difference. “Happiness is caused by things that happen around me, and circumstances will mar it; but joy flows right on through trouble; joy flows on through the dark; joy flows in the night as well as in the day; joy flows all through persecution and opposition. It is an unceasing fountain bubbling up in the heart; a secret spring the world can’t see and doesn’t know anything about. The Lord gives His people perpetual joy when they walk in obedience to Him.”
hey hon, keep fighting the good fight of faith aiight? we need to remain disciplined in studying the Word despite our feelings and especially in those times when we don’t feel like it… cause we’re constantly in a battle against the powers of this world… and these moments we may be most vunerable to attack.
attempting to “fulfill” those new year resolutions of yours will be pretty much asking for a battle! so keep fighting!
=)…i feel ya too in terms of what your going through…but then i’m not YOU (i always say this, cause i know i can never 100% understand anyone ..only God Himself knows us completely)
waiting at a red light?
it happens, even to the best of us. Moses waited in Midian for decades before being called forward, and then had to wait 40 more yrs before he even saw a hint of the Promise Land. Joseph waited as a slave, then as an accused rapist in jail, before God used him to save Israel. And Paul waited 3 yrs (I think) before beginning his ministry.
God’s timing can be tough. but we must persevere, and remember that God is good and faithful, and remember as well our identity in Christ.
Just wait till that green light hits, and then you’ll have to hold on to the seat belt!
I echo the comments above re: joy vs. happiness…
Could you be going through a “dark night of the soul”? Read about the prayer of the forsaken in Richard Foster’s book Prayer.
Yeah, I think in my intro psychology class (years & years ago!), the prof talked about how being depressed or unhappy makes us think more, because we want to know how we got into that state and how to get out of it. Whereas when we’re happy, we don’t think too much. 😉 So just think, you’re giving your brain cells exercise! :cheekygrin:
Sorry to hear that, hope you will feel better soon. Although I do think that joy, to a large extent, and even happiness can be a choice you make. One of my (many) New Year’s resolutions is to be happier and more joyful :). We shall see :p… hahaha
My comment of ridiculous applies to many of your links including the Debris and Snowball ones :p
Horrible: Censorship and spider
ATM: Sad, He desires our hearts more than sacrifice 🙁
Cellphones: Sad, esp. for women, and not fair :(.
Mark of the Beast: I have thought so sometimes too, a bit frightening. hmmm but then I suppose passwords in general could count as well :p
Sorry, should’ve clarified… apparently my brain is still not working on all 4 cylinders… I didn’t mean to imply that you were forsaken, because you’re not (and you know that). The chapter I was referring to talked more about how sometimes we feel like God is not near. I’ve looked through it trying to find a quote that best summarizes it, but… I think it’s better if you just read the whole chapter.
Yeah, sometimes I beat myself up about having a rebellious heart too, but I’ve been learning a lot about God’s grace… He doesn’t condemn us for falling, He’s just glad that we’re still reaching towards Him.
I’ve learned that with God, it’s not about the red lights or green lights, it’s whether you’re driving in the right direction. 🙂 Have a great weekend!
My heart is trying it’s damndest to make me unhappy. And it’s doing a pretty good job. But I want more than just a little temporary happiness
it will all pass in time. without struggles, there can be no success.
thanks for commenting. ;]
hahaha thanks for the comment…I mean “.” ;)…hahaha when are we getting together for a chat session? ps if you aren’t doing anything V-Day, keep it open for me 🙂
:yum: :yum:
thanks dear.
haha.. dont know.. so cuute..