Traveling

(rant mode)

I feel horrible about the two state-commission job tests… They stomped me into the dust and left me for dead… at least that’s what it seems like to me. I still have faint hope that I may yet get a job from that source. My credit card balances are making my eyes pop out my head. I am definitely not in dynamic equilibrium… more going out than is comming in. Gotta stop going out… so more staying at home with the parental units… it’s enough to make a grown man cry… ok, maybe not quite that bad. This job search is depressing as usual, but I’ve gotta keep going, this bloody temp job has gotta go. “I’ve takes all I can take and I can’t takes no more…” My job leads keep putting me off and all my follow-ups don’t seem to do anything… *sigh* God, where do you want me to go? so tired… like I’m running on a hamster wheel and getting nowhere fast. Maybe this is a time to learn some patience… or to learn to listen to God…. I dunno…

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No real complicated thoughts for today… Nothing quite like waking up and saying ~Good Morning God~

^_^ 

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Thank you God, for friends. They are such a beautiful thing… dangerous… but then again, so many things have a double edge…

~Friends~

“An anxious heart weighs him down, but a kind word cheers him up.
A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray”

Proverbs 12:25-26

     I’ve been thinking about friends(hip) lately. I’ve been fairly lucky with the friendship. Not to say that I have friends everywhere, but I have much blessings in that area. I’ve been thinking alot about friends and why they are so important to me. Pretty much, it cuts down into 2 categories: Blessings of friendship and Dangers of friendship.

     Blessings that I notice mostly… Friends support you when you need a helping hand. God is very supportive, but for me, a human being is support on a different level. They help you share your burdens as well as blessings… I’ve noticed that my problems don’t seem quite as bad after I talk to a pal about it… and blessings just get better when I share. ^_^ don’t you think so? Also, they help guide your path. Prime example?

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother let me take the speck out of your eye’, when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye?…”

Luke 6:42

So yeah, friends definitely help with things like helping you see things that you can’t quite catch… like that girl that is bad news and you are just too caught up in the moment… your friend would tell you that you might wanna rethink asking her out…

     Dangers… well, most of these are no-brainers. Friends can mislead you. Your friends are just as human as you are… hence we all make mistakes sometimes, so sometimes your friend can trip you up… Friend can hurt like hell… ok, I don’t know what hell feels like, but you know what I mean. Enemies can only hurt you so much… but when you have friends… really really close friends, they know your weaknesses and they can hurt you sooo much more than any enemy ever could. When you have a friend, you learn to expect things from them, and when they don’t live up to them, or just plain old misunderstandings… yeah, they can bring you down too….

     So in summary what am I saying here? Choose your friends carefully… they can cause you alot of hell… or they can make your life beautiful. Too many big words for ya? just read the Proverbs quotes again… it’s good stuff, regardless of what you believe and your lifestyle.

Touching Praise of today:

Change my heart, Oh Lord
Make it ever true.
Change my heart, Oh Lord
May I be like you.

You are the Potter;
I am the clay.
Mold me and make me
This is what I pray. 

An interesting excerpt from C.S. Lewis – The Screwtape Letters:

“… humans who have not the gift of continence can be detered from seeking marriage as a solution because they do not find themselves “in love,” and, thanks to us, the idea of marrying with any other motive seems to them low and cynical. Yes, they think that. They regard the intention of loyalty to a partnership for mutual help, for the preservation of chastity, and for the transmission of life as something lower than a storm of emotion. (Don’t neglect to make your man think the marriage service very offensive.) In the second place any sexual infatuation whatever, so long as it intends marriage, will be regarded as “love,” and “love” will be held to excuse a man from all the guilt, and protect him for all the consequences, of marrying a heathen, a fool, or a wanton.”

Context: an exchange of notes between two demons who are describing the art of leading man astray from God.

It stuck me as a very interesting passage. So much so, that I could not help but share it. Thank God for Corinthians.

On a side note, I had a phone interview yesterday… I felt all awkward and I don’t think I made a very favorable impression… it was my first conferenced-phone-interview… oh well, gotta go write up the thank you notes and see what happens. In retrospect, it would have been better to have prayed before I made the phone call. I’ve got 2 state-commission job tests and another on-site interview comming up next week. Pray for me~ ^_^

Listening to ppl pray~

     Everytime I hear someone pray, I this is what pops up in my head:

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

Matthew 6:5-8

Praying is better in private. Like a conversation between you and your best friend. The babbling especially bothers me. I have no clue why. Maybe that ties in somehow with the problems with hypocrisy… :-/

One day at a time God, one day at a time.

Music is good…

Sade – By your side

You think I’d leave your side baby?
You know me better than that.
You think I’d leave you down when you’re down on your knees?
I wouldn’t do that.

I’ll do you right when you’re wrong
I—–I, ohhhh, ohhh

If only you could see into me

oh, when you’re cold
I’ll be there to hold you tight to me
When you’re on the outside baby and you can’t get in
I will show you, you’re so much better than you know
When you’re lost, when you’re alone and you can’t get back again,
I will find you. Darling, I’ll bring you home

And if you want to cry,
I am here to dry your eyes
and in no time, you’ll be fine.

Sitting here close beside you,
My Heart beats faster,
Yet Quietly I sit here.

Something I wrote a lifetime ago… at least it seems like it.. but for some reason I felt the need to dig it up and post it… what do you think?

Currently Playing: Sade – By your side

Find what you are looking for?

     I think that in most cases, you will find what you are looking for. Since reality is bent by our perception of it and almost every adjective is relative. Our personal reality is relative to our state of mind. If you’re optimistic, you will find the good side to anything. Everything has a good side. The money that you lost is a helping hand to whoever finds it. If you’re pessimistic, you will find the down side to everything. If you are looking for enemies, you will find them. If you look for my faults, you will find them. If you just want to have fun, you will find it. But what do we really want to find? What does each one of us seek? Happiness, a touch of joy now and then, and a place to belong. Maybe a couple more… maybe something slightly different. But if someone told you how you could have this, would you believe them? If the easiest path was shown to you, would you take it? We are all stubborn, all a little hard-headed. But sometimes, when we open our hearts and minds and take a look around, we find that what someone says is true. Count your blessings once in awhile, there are plenty to find. Take joy in the little things. Happiness can be found, it’s just a matter of finding your way.

I am…
a ball of memories, hopes, fears, dreams and aspirations.
God is grace overflowing
enough to cover my sins.
But still leaves me to stand on my own
and choose the path as I would.
The downhill and easy
or the narrow and rough.
For each of us has freewill
So we can choose to believe
or forsake.
For those who want to disbelieve,
science is more than enough God.
For those who want to believe,
a sign is not necessary.

(edit)
Prayer request #2:
PL is having some personal problems right now… I don’t know what they are, but you know him and you know what he needs right now. I pray that you will take care of his during his time of turmoil. I pray all this in the name of He who died in our place, Amen.
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“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out dmons and perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evil-doers!’ “

Matthew 7:21-23

     I was thinking about hypocripsy. I am a hypocrite. I say one thing and do another. I am a sinner and God is God.  I am only redeemed by the death of Jesus. Does this mean anything to me on a day-to-day basis? I’m not sure. Do I try to do right? Most of the time. Will doing the right thing help me get to heaven? Nope. Doing the will of God is not an easy thing. Is it impossible? I’d like to think no. But I don’t think I’m the one to answer that question. God would answer that much better than I. Today, I woke up with the guilt of yet again, not making it to church… Why? I don’t know… I’m out of excuses. I woke up and rolled over. Can I just say I’m lazy? Yes… but that doesn’t excuse my actions. I asked God for forgiveness and felt much better. God is good. All the time. ^_^ Rather random post eh? yeah… my brain is still scrambled and my heart is heavy.

Inspired by a random xanga user.

Because my sister asked me to pray for her….
God I’d like to pray for BT… She’s been going insane with studying. I’d like to pray for my sister’s applications for this work program she is interested in. Pray that she stays safe and that no matter what, your Will be done in her life. I pray all this in Jesus name, Amen.

(edit)

I talked to a friend. And she thinks I should avoid giving advice to random strangers… I guess that depends on who do you consider a stranger… I am lacking education in social graces. I seem to step on peoples toes without meaning to. So yes, I am WRONG! Me and my stupid condescending tone… *sigh* God is gonna need to mold me some more…  I think this is ample example of why GOOD INTENTIONS AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH!

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I just found out that one of the elders in my church, ALCMC has just passed away… I barely knew her. I said I was going to a surprise b-day party, but I don’t know if I can go there with the right mindset. The need to comfort vs the need to congratulate… The funeral and the party coincide… I need to talk to my friends. Gonna call them when I get a chance. This is what I call a GodSmack, a reality check of sorts.

     Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
     You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You annoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever

Psalm 23:4-6

(/edit)

~When dating (christian-style as described in a sermon), you should avoid “hanging out” instead, plan out your dates.~

hmm… I was reading the “relationship outline”, which is a synopsis of a sermon given at PSU. Don’t mistake me for a PSU dude though… I’m Bucknell ~! I just heard about this sermon from a friend so I asked for some notes because it actually sounded interesting. I read over the entire thing and discussed some interesting points with my pal… That line above kinda stood out to me. Since I don’t just date random people, I would be dating friends. usually close friends at that. So according to what this guide says about dating, I should stop just “hanging out” with her, if we start dating. I understand why… “Hanging out” becomes a temptation to cuddle… and cuddle leads to kissing, kissing leads to well… yeah, you get the idea. So that means that when I date a friend, no more “hangout time”? That’s pretty messed up if you ask me… What do you think? maybe I’m missing the point… anyone who has some thoughts… I would appreciate it~

Yes, that means those who aren’t christian as well. ^_^

Yes, that means you… the person reading right now. ^.^